doing absolutely NOTHING

The kids are gone for 3 weeks at their Dad's. I did clean the garage and LABEL the shelves (crazy I know). Besides that, I haven't done ANYTHING. On my day off I have been watching TV all day long (unless the b/f and I go out shopping or errands or whatever). I have only felt slightly bad about doing nothing (wonder what that means - does that mean my body craved to do nothing? am I lazy? not motivated? I'm not even cooking (of course, not that anyone really WANTS my food)).

I have gained 4 pounds back from eating fast food and crap the last week or so. Last night I made crab soup and tomato & avocado toasted sandwiches. Why did I think fast food would taste better?!

Counting sheep

"you know, when I have trouble falling asleep I count backwards, from a hundred, but I have to do it a couple of times..."

"why don't you just start from 200?"

* silence *

"I used to try to count sheep too, but they would always look at me and make funny faces"

Powerball directions

I bought 2 powerball tickets (with powerplay) last week. I think this may be the 4th or 5th time I've actually played the lottery in my life.

I have read and re-read the powerball website multiple times in order to understand when/how you actually win the powerball, when you just win money from your state, if it multiplies because of powerplay etc.

After looking at that website at least FIVE times I now understand how it all works. I have not admitted this to anyone in the family yet.

Really Cindy, FIVE TIMES?!?!?

I have worked in insurance for 13 years yet I can't understand how powerball works.

Wow.

I commented to the b/f a while back, "maybe I'm just DUMB and I'm finally realizing it!"

I am not a writer

It started off as a joke.

I always thought I was a pretty good cook when I was married, then I realized it was only because I made the same shit over and over again.

Starting a couple of years ago with the new boyfriend I thought I would try new recipes. My success rate was about 1 outta 3 that the new dish would be pretty good.

"Did you follow the recipe?"

"uh, yes"

"exactly???!"

"well..."

Last week my boss's wife suggested that I try to write, in order to ease my anxiety. I am NOT a writer. I have never written a story (unless required in school). I remember writing/typing on very small post-it size paper brief stories that would my mother would put in a scrapbook. (can 3 lines be considered a story?). I liked the sound the typewriter made "clack clack clack zingggggggggg!' and of course decorating with glitter and beads or whatever I could find.

For a week I thought about what I could write about. I am not creative enough to make up a story. Instantly I thought, "I can't do ANYTHING to completion!". Really, I live my life at a 33% success rate. Just like those stupid new recipes...