Tuesday, August 31, 2010

sick - a different sickness

Alright, what the hell. I went from having stomach cramping and feeling nauseous Sunday night to having a sore throat and being tired today. Doesn't make sense. The last thing I want to do is crawl into my crappy 20 year old bed with old sheets/comforter/etc. I may just have to splurge and buy a new comforter set tonight. Granted we're going to buy a new king size bed (we have a queen right now) EVENTUALLY but that could be another year from now. I hate everything about our bed and everything that covers it.

Do I get a sub for volleyball tomorrow night? Will I feel better by then? Finding a sub the day before is a pain in the ass for my team captain. There aren't that many women "available" anymore.

I am pissy and weak today. I am being a total bitch to my boyfriend.

Amazingly I have not taken ANY drugs to make me feel better. And trust me, I have a minor cramp and I'm all over the meds...

Monday, August 30, 2010


Played better tennis over the weekend. Had a rockstar to get some extra energy - first night having it I felt great. Tried it against last night - blah, didn't help. Later that night cramping and feeling sick to my stomach. Because of the Rockstar!?!? not sure... feel icky today at work today.

Friday, August 27, 2010


I guess that's all I needed. Full 8 hours, actually woke up before the alarm went off.

After 7 years of being divorced I still have the thought running through my head when I don't stay up late with my boyfriend that he'll be pissed. My ex, before we were married but living together, would read me the riot act when I wouldn't stay up until midnight with him (I started work early in the morning, he started in the afternoon - don't ask WHY we still got married).

Hard to rewire your brain... even 7 years later.

Thursday, August 26, 2010


33%, right, that was this blog's description.

Tennis. B/F asks, how hard are you playing? (note: I don't sweat... okay, if it's 90 degrees and I'm in a volleyball tournament and I've been playing for 6 hours I'll start to sweat, START TO). uhhhhhhhh I had to think about it. 70%? which is pathetic. is 70% even TRYING?! I'm not busting my ass. I'm not running towards the shot like my life depends on it. Another tennis ball will come over so no biggie. When am I at 100%? During a vball tournament for sure, because we HAVE to win to keep playing. But during the regular season league? eh, 70%. I think the whole team is at 70%. Did I ever play at 100%? High school -so I could play every game. Funny, I thought I was competitive, but really, it's only if something will be taken AWAY from me...

What does that say about me? I do just enough to get by? Am I LAZY?! *gasp!*


What scares me: my vision, or lack of. my eyesight is TERRIBLE. with no vision insurance it's difficult to see the eye doctor yearly but I have to in order to get my new contacts Rx (and new glasses this year) - it's going to cost $350 to get this all done. Ugh. But it can't be put off...

I have a fear of waking up in the middle of the night to an intruder and I can't find my glasses - I literally cannot see 2 inches in front of my face. I also have a fear of ending up looking my ex's friends' mother's dog - a mutt that needed to be put to sleep but she kept him alive ("Barney") blind, deaf, disabled... will that be me some day? milky white eyes and unable to see??? I always ask my eye doctor a million questions regarding my vision but so far there is no major concern. I just have bad vision, I'm getting older and hormones are kicking in (why at 40 does everything about your body suddenly seem to get f*cked up??!). I'm having this problem _________ "well you're 41" so this __________ has been happening lately "well, you're in your 40's now". awesome.

When playing tennis at night everything is no longer crystal clear. I hate to use that as an excuse for my crappy tennis playing, but people (yes you B/F!) with great vision don't understand us blind schmucks...

6 months since last post - I'm a flake

Most likely this is attributed by posting on facebook so much - but originally I started this for some mental relief (a blog that is).

Since getting back from vacation b/f and I have been playing tennis almost every night and have been fully occupied on the weekend (with the kids and then just by ourselves). Last night we played tennis but not until around 8:30 (I wasn't tired, but I had NO energy). I think the reason is my "at home schedule" is off - yes, we are going to play tennis every night (which is great!) but I'm getting to bed later, the house chores aren't done, etc... time to readjust my schedule. I am also leaving to go play without eating dinner (bad Cindy bad!).