how the heck does 2 weeks go by already?

sheesh.

B/F's grandmother died so he was out of town last week.

Finally got my check for my car however my bank is putting a hold on it - OF COURSE. Only took 5 weeks to get the money.

Found out yesterday teenager made it onto the cheerleading squad. YAY!!!

I can't seem to get caught up with work and life in general. Only one more month until my boss retires so hopefully once that's over and I'm at the other office full time things will calm down a bit. I've still been neglecting making ornaments... shit!

too pissed

to write anything today, will try again tomorrow.

2nd night at gym (144)

I'm bored outta my mind on the treadmill. We headed over to the gym after my daughter's dentist appointment (I'm surprised she still wanted to go after being shot up with novicaine and in a little bit of pain). I'm realizing I look WORSE that I thought I did. I think I have the male-body-image as in I look in the mirror at home and think, yeah, I DO look pretty good don't I? After the trainer had made the comment about losing weight and then looking at my reflection in the window, since it was dark outside, I thought wow, I'm bigger than EVERYONE on all the treadmills around me. :( So now where I was EXCITED about the gym I'm now a little bummed out about it. I won't quit, I'll keep going, but shit, I didn't think I had so much to work on. Still waiting for a check for my car. They at least found my title YESTERDAY. That's progress right? whatever!

goals at the gym

I just realized I have no idea what my goal is. I mean, I know my OVERALL goal, be stronger and have more endurance, but little goals, as in I want to walk/run ____ miles by next week, curl 40 pounds, etc. I have a free personal training session Thursday so maybe they'll help me figure out a goal? I mean, normally my goal is just TO WIN. Which doesn't really apply to working out. The teenager already has goals... who the hell did she learn that from?!?!

gym membership (144 lbs this morning)

Yes, I, or really, WE (the teenager and I), joined a gym yesterday. $35 a month. If I cut out my twice a week McD's frappe mochas and hashbrowns then the gym is paid for. What sold us on it? The price, the distance (5 mins from home) and umm Ryan, the cute black young personal trainer / ex-football player. I wasn't even paying attention to what he was saying about the gym equipment. Okay we're in! ha. We went back later that day and worked out for an hour. 30 minutes treadmill, 7 mins for me the cross country thing where I thought I was going to DIE and 20 minutes weights. I LOVE the weights. I could pass on the cardio but I know I need it. I need stamina and upper body strength. And I guess I need to lose a few pounds because Ryan said I could lose 20 pounds in 8 weeks (ohh um I need to LOSE weight? I thought I was just gonna build muscle, shit!) with exercise AND a better diet (how's your diet? "uhh it's okay" (as I had just consumed a mcdouble on the way over there)). Maybe I thought I carried it well, I'm 5' 7, but then again I've got the tire around my middle unless I stand up straight and suck it in. Teenager loves the cardio and could pass on the weights so at least we can motivate each other in our "weak" areas... she's was really good at it, "c'mon Mom, just lower your level by one and do another 2 minutes, you can do it! go mom!". too cute. I will kick her ass on the free weights though. ;) And really, I would like to look better in a bathing suit, and my tight running/volleyball tank tops I wear in the summer, etc. So our plan is Monday Tuesday Thurs Friday & Sunday. My worry is that if she makes the cheerleading squad she won't go with me anymore however maybe by then I'll have the "courage" to go by myself. Another Cindy at the gym helped us figure out how to program the cross country machine - she was very nice and could tell we were in trouble. Both the teenager and I are kind goofy so I'm sure we annoyed some of the other people. And when I was "dying" and saying under my breath, fuck me, fuck this, fuck this machine, I'm dying, fuck ME, one guy actually MOVED. The other Cindy, who is a GRANDMOTHER by the way, looked over and asked the teenager if I was okay, "oh yeah, she's fine". Saturday was 84 - we went fishing all day. GORGEOUS day. I caught 2 trout, b/f caught 6. WHY DOES HE ALWAYS CATCH MORE! Sunday was 40's and snowing. Typical Colorado for ya.

where the heck is my title?

No one can find it... nice. So I sit here with no vehicle 3 weeks later. I called the b/f to tell him and I started crying - why? Because I have a sore throat and I'm not in control of finding the vehicle title - someone else has to. I have to rely SOMEONE else within the company I WORK FOR but not in the building/state. I want go home and go to bed. This weekend we should have awesome weather. I'm not going to work tomorrow, I'm getting my ass outside, sick or not, I will be outside. I hate being sick. I feel like the biggest wuss in the world and I'm always on the edge of crying. Lame huh?