going home and staying home

After work, if I'm not playing a league sport, or getting home and immediately going to play tennis (shit, I can't even remember what playing tennis IS anymore), I want to STAY home. Take my 2nd quick shower of the day, put my PJ's on and not leave. The kids know if I have to take them somewhere they need to be standing in the driveway WAITING because if mom gets outta the car she's not getting back in again...

Tonight is the first of 2 career classes my 14 year old teenager has. Basically you signed up for job fields you are interested in and then you are matched up to owners/businesses and you visit their company for 2 hours to learn about it, what degree you have to have, you do a "project" so you can get the feel of it, etc. We had to pay $10 per "class" - WTF. Both of the fields she signed up for are in downtown Denver. Ugh, downtown, at night - NOT where I want to be. Downtown is probably 15 minutes from my house, with traffic, double that. So 1 hour to get home, get the kid, drive 30 minutes back downtown - do I drop her off? that doesn't feel safe... do I stay there in the parking lot for 2 hours? - do I keep driving back and forth? I know this will make me cranky, going home, then leaving, then coming back, then leaving again, and again and AGAIN! I just don't wanna do it. We have another one next Monday too... I will have to leave work early each time.

I'm supposed to have a parent/teacher conference this Friday for the 10 year old. I wrote on it please schedule me early morning or after 5 pm. She scheduled me at 3 pm which means I would have to leave work at 2 pm. I can't afford losing 3 hours of my paycheck so I wrote the teacher back - can't do it... please reschedule. I guess if you don't live paycheck to paycheck it's not a big deal, but I'm struggling here... if I have pick between work and sitting in a class for 10 minutes I'll pick work. Most of the teachers I've dealt with eventually we just talk over the phone for conferences... however this is a new year, new grade.

Today - Diet Dr Pepper and doritos. This was my main staple back in High School. And lunch at Carl's Jr - how did I handle eating that every day? Oh yeah, I was 16 and playing vball religiously. Crazy to think about it.

I hate customers. I'm so sick of dealing with people. I don't know what I'm going to do about a new job once my boss retires. I CAN NOT work with customers again. I dread coming into work every day - unless there's a guarantee the phone won't ring. What the hell am I gonna do...